The Problem with Self-Seeking

In the ‘Love Chapter’ – 1 Corinthians 13, it says that ‘love does not seek its own‘. I realised the other day that many of our problems come from doing this very thing – seeking our own, desiring things for ourselves, being self-centred.

  • We can so easily become discontent with our situation, wishing things were different. This can then make our whole world tinged with negativity, and it comes from wanting things for ourselves. 
  • We can be anxious and worried about what people think about us, and again it is seeking our own – seeking a good reputation, or wanting people to think well of us.
  • We can get into arguments with people, which is often because we want our own way, or we are trying to defend ourselves – notice the ‘self’ in defending yourself!

I am guilty of all of these, weekly if not daily! So I know they are common problems, or else I am unusually sinful and pre-occupied with myself! But I have not understood till now how many of these things come from self-seeking.

If we could only step outside of our focus on ourselves and turn our thinking around to focus on loving God and others instead then it would change and become so much more simple.

  • Instead of being discontent we could be thankful for what God has given us, and seek to bless others with what we do have. 
  • Instead of being worried about what people think, we could be more concerned about pleasing God and loving others
  • And instead of wanting our own way we could put others first, and let God be our defender.

I know this is hard to do, as it is so easy to get distracted and wrapped up in ourselves again. But if we were less pre-occupied with ourselves and more with loving God and others, we would actually have fewer problems and be more joyful and at peace!

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8 Responses

  1. Brooke says:

    I’ve noticed the same self-centered sins in my own life (you’re definitely not alone)! I like the admonition to give thanks, turn my focus to God, and let God be my defender.

  2. Virginia says:

    Well said, so very true.

  3. Great word. God has been speaking to me about self-preservation…all those self words are rough. Only by His power in me can I focus on others before myself. Thanks for sharing.

  4. Rhoda says:

    Thanks for telling me I’m not alone Brooke ๐Ÿ˜‰

    BelovedBomber, I hadn’t thought about self-preservation but that is very true, thanks for your comment.

  5. Sherry says:

    God created us for Him so we give God the glory. Giving our self to Him to serve others for Him. I think everyone, especially me, struggles with the idea of letting go of self and letting God have us for His glory. Thanks for these encouraging words.

  6. Charlotte says:

    So true. It isn’t easy to stay on the right path and I think we all struggle with selfishness in one form or another. You offer some good solutions. Thank you for sharing.

  7. Pamela says:

    You’re right. So many things stem from “seeking our own.” I try to catch my selfishness by saying, “It’s not all about me.” I’m surprised how often this helps. Focusing on others sure does bring joy!


  8. Rhoda says:

    Thanks Pamela, that’s a good idea of what to say – my husband often says the same thing when he’s preaching, especially when talking about going to church. We are too often focused on what we want to get from church, and not on giving to and blessing others.