What Guys Say About Girls’ Clothes
I have been a bit quiet because we did actually move house last week and I haven’t had much time to write or think (after writing my last post where I was under the stress of wondering if we were or weren’t!). We haven’t got proper internet access yet, and my computer and books are still packed away, but I did manage to get on here briefly!
Someone just alerted me this week to a really eye-opening online survey called ‘The Modesty Survey’ that was done in 2007 and endorsed by a lot of good solid Christian people, and I wanted to share it on here. The website which organised it is called ‘The Rebelution’ and they have defined themselves as, “A teenage rebellion against the low expectations of an ungodly culture”.
I feel very strongly that we, as women and girls, should do our best to avoid tempting men to sin in their thoughts by the way we dress. And recently I pulled together a few links on modesty for that purpose.
However I have always thought that it is hard for us to really understand the full importance of this, without actually hearing from men, since our minds are wired completely differently. We really have no idea of what goes through their heads!
It is also not something that we would generally talk about in a cross-gender conversation unless we are married. I have learned a lot more about it since being married and being able to quiz my husband on which clothes are good and which aren’t.
This survey takes of that! Over 200 Christian girls submitted their questions about specific modesty issues and over 1600 Christian guys gave their responses, with many written replies in addition.
The survey was answered more by younger men, as it was done by a teen website, but I think these issues would be similar for older men too. It has questions about all kinds of clothing, and probably everything you may have wondered about whether it stumbles a guy or not.
Here is one of the open questions with an answer I picked out, and there are also many more specific questions about things like jeans, layering, posture, dresses, and swimsuits.
If you could say one thing to your sisters in Christ about modesty, what would it be?
One answer by a 24yr old:
Sisters in Christ, you really have no concept of the struggles that guys face on a daily basis. Please, please, please take a higher standard in the ways you dress. True, we men are responsible for our thoughts and actions before the Lord, but it is such a blessing when we know that we can spend time with our sisters in Christ, enjoying their fellowship without having to constantly be on guard against ungodly thoughts brought about by the inappropriate ways they sometimes dress.
In 1 Corinthians 12 the apostle Paul presents believers as the members of one body – we have to work together. Every Christian has a special role to play in the body of Christ. That goal is to bring glory to the Savior through an obedient, unified body of believers – please don’t hurt that unity by dressing in ways that may tempt your brothers in Christ to stumble.
For me I found this survey very eye-opening, and I hope that you will also go and have a look. I would suggest you read the Overview first before going to the results, as it gives a good explanation. Just be prepared to be scared, convicted, ashamed, and change your way of dressing if necessary, for the love of your brothers in Christ!
If any guys are reading this, feel free to comment anonymously if you think it might help some of us 🙂